Excel is a chicken
by wolf1983ca
Summary: Excel forgot to take her medication and now she thinks she is a chicken.
1. Chapter 1

Excel Saga Fanfic 

Excel is a chicken.

Ye ol disclaimer Hey everyone, I don't own Excel Saga. So don't sue me. I have no money. I am poor. No joke. This is a cross-over fanfiction, there is many things added in here. And it would take way too much time to name all of the entities.

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Excel thinks she is a chicken because she forgot to take her medication. She doesnt take her medication because she thinks coffee is the answer. The answer to what ever ails her. "Time for more coffee" Hyatt screamed and blew up into a bunch of bloody chunks.  
Excel ate the chunks and then Hyatt re-spawned, Halo style out of the blue as retarded as that sounds and is. Then your mom had a cake and she thought she could eat it, too. Though I dont think your mother has anything to do with this story.

Flash-ahead -----------

Excel is eating a donut and the donut starts to speak. It talks of all the greatness of cheese and how her hair is a pretty yellow like the piss in a toilet bowl.  
Excel said "Why thank-you, Mr donut-san" And she gleefully ate the donut making white stains on her lips. She licked her lips and then Me-tan broke into Tim Horton's and made the Blue Screen of death appear and smashed into Excel-Tan making tables, donuts and all kinds of chickens to appear flying away. The chickens started attacking everyone someone hit a chicken one too many times somewhere at a farm, far far away in a toilet bowl. Me-tan rebooted and Excel layed unconcious in a pile of donuts. The donuts started singing a very eery song And Tim Horton's was replaced by a retarded series of characters that were green and then suddenly all the chairs replace and all anyone could see was a blue screen that said something bad happened. Sort of like pancakse gone wrong. Or whatever lewd stupid metaphore of which the author can't really think of anything to say on that matter.


	2. Chapter 2

Excel Saga is a chicken - Chapter 2

The contrived boring disclaimer message:

I dont own Excel Saga, Sony, SqaureEnix or whatever gets added in here randomly. Just what ever is a copyrighted character put in here. I'm just using it I dont claim to own it. Unless it is mine. Though at this point in the story none of these characters are mine. So relax. This is just a fan made fanfic made by a very bored person that drinks too much coffee and occasionly goes on drinking binges.

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ME-Tan woke up and suddenly had the urge to eat a nut and a donut. She also had the urge to eat a phillips screw driver. After swallowing those she suddenly crashed and was unconcious for the remainder of the day.

Though no body seemed to care, since ME-Tan was always doing all kinds of silly dumb things and she always turned out okay for some reason once someone took a hint and rebooted her. Alas, it was a never ending circle and it always happened, etc etc you get the point.

Excel jumped out of the shower and tripped over Me-Tan who was unconcious on the floor in front the bathroom. She screamed and fell right on top of Me-Tan looking their green eyes looking into each other. Though ME-Tan was dead to the world so Excel-Chan pressed her on button. Me-Tan moaned as it was in a ahem sensitive spot and finnaly woke up and threw Excel off her and jumped out the 5th story window of the apartment building.  
The rest you'll have to use you're imagination for because this paragraph of the fanfic has ran out of memory.

Suddenly Yuffie fell through the ceiling for no apparent reason unknown to anyone not even your mother. Excel said "Who are you?" In this high pitched squilly voice. Yuffy answered "I am locke, treasure hunter!" And Excel said back "How does all the plundering and land lubbing and omgwtf go today" Yuffie screamed and jumped on the ceiling "I am the one! I am super person that can jump through walls and ceilings and slow down time and do stupid stuff that makes absolutely no sense and people think are cool for no reason and I dont even know" Excel looks stunned for a second and says "What does hamburgers have to do with it?" And then Yuffie answered back "it has to do with the OMGWTFBBQ"

End of chapter 2 


	3. Chapter 3

Excel's a chicken Part three -  
The legal disclaimer you skim over anyway  
I do not own the characters of Excel Saga, SqaureEnix or whatever character I added in here, unless it is included in this disclaimer.  
I do not own D00d. He is a real person, that I can't own since as far as I know slavery is illegal. He is just a part of this story.  
All references to a real person or something like that where probably accidental, a typo, or where a product of extreme, fatigue, drowziness or drunkiness. Yada yada, blah blah. You get the point. It's just a fanfic...I'm not makin' any money. So dont sue me, you sillies!  
This is by far the worse fanfic ever... I'm surprised it hasnt been delete from the blessid something or other. Panties, I love dirty panties. Panties get. Excel Saga is walking around what seems like a Ultima Online Shard.

You are too fatigued to move.  
You are too fatigued to move.

Excel sweat drops and stays frozen "Where are the muffins?" Excel fidgets "Where are the kittens. THE PANTIES WHERE ARE THE PANTIES"  
Hyatt rides over on a horse and suddenly appears by Excel-chan because there was a lot of lag "I dont have kittens, but I have, panties!" Hyatt flips up her skirt and shows her beautful sky blue panties.  
Excel cant move but she drools at Hyatts panties.  
Suddenly the lag increases and all of Hyatt's clothes disapear. Hyatt blushes and covers herself "They delete my cllllothes o.o" Excel disapears.

You are too fatigued to move.  
You are too fatigued to move.

"No. My Excel-chan diiiiiied!" Hyatt yells and blood droops down her lip and she dies. Suddenly for no aparent reason Ultima Online is replaced with a blue screen. Yuffie screams from the background "Someone reboot Me-Tan"  
Suddenly there's a moan in the background. And the blue screen is replaced by Hyatt's beautiful sky blue panties. Hyatt eats a muffin and throws it at Me-tan.

Suddenly for no apparent reason Doodman jumps out of the fridge and says "SPAM!" and a whole bunch of shocktroopers come out behind him. Me-tan, Hyat in just her sky blue panties and bra, Excel-chan and Yuffie all look stunned for a second. Time freezes for a second as the rest of the world has a spam hick-up happens and the world swaps some of the rest of the world into the swap file, where ever that is. Suddenly for no apparent reason Doodman and the shockertroopers jump on spam boston cream donuts and try to get away but the donuts crash and then they respawn in the toilet. The toilet screams and barfs and Doodman and the shocktroopers climb out of the toilet covered with sewage.

98-Tan climbs out of the TV. And poles Kodochi out of her backpack.  
Kodochi screams "Stop shoving me in your backpack!" and she runs away. Suddenly for no apparent reason Shocksock comes out of the shadows and Kodochi runs away even faster. Me-tan kicks shocksock in the balls. Shocksock gets knocked down to his knees and then Firefox-ko climbs into a hotdog bun and throws naughty pictures at everyone. "Take that you bunch of pathetic losers" And then she goes to sleep on her hotdog bun, spray ketchup all over herself and going to sleep. And then she added "And dont eat me, or you'll be sorry!" End of part 3 


End file.
